


Nothing Left of You and Me

by alseesky



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alseesky/pseuds/alseesky
Summary: idk it's just a sad peter pov thingy that's been done a million times





	Nothing Left of You and Me

Peter Simmonds, at 17, had felt a lot of things. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
Happiness on the days that he did exceptionally well on a test and his mother would congratulate him over the phone. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

Love on the lazy Saturdays he would spend in bed with Jason, tracing patterns aimlessly on bare skin as they fell apart in each other.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
Heartbreak everytime Jason told him it was over, that he couldn't do it anymore. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘶𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳- 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
Belonging when he and his friends all sat at the same table during study hall and just enjoyed each other's presence, even Ivy and Nadia.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
Disgust, with himself, everytime he had prayed for 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 to go away.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
But, there was the one thing he really had never truly felt. Not on such a grand scheme that it felt like it was tearing him apart from the inside out. Grief.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
Sure, when his grandfather had passed away he'd been upset. He cried. But the beauty of being eleven was that he never really understood that loss. He didn't get why the school counselor had pulled him out of class and made him sit down and talk, or the way all his teachers looked at him like he'd been the sole sufferer of a grand tragedy. It's kind of funny how it worked out.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
There was something oddly poetic about how the whole thing went down, something out of a drama movie he might've watched with Ivy in some other timeline, or some Shakespearean play.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
But He never wanted a tragedy, he wanted a love story, he wanted to hold Jason's hand in the sunlight, he wanted to bring him home for the holidays, and God, he wanted to grow up with him. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
It wasn't exactly achievable when the very boy he'd wished to do those things with was somewhere six feet under the ground.

He could barely bring himself to attend the funeral. It's not like Jason's parents wanted him there. They were still somewhere deep in denial, even when everything was laid out open, bare, for them to see. It was easier to mourn alone, he'd discovered after several sleepless nights in what he used to consider their bed, a place where Jason had kissed him, where his hands had made burning hot paths across Peter's body in the moonlight, had told him he loved him, that they were soulmates.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
The part of Peter that wasn't inexplicably sad was angry at Jason. Jason, who had made so many mistakes and was never truly held accountable, because he died before he could be. Selfish, Peter named the feeling after no particularly angry tearful night, because it wasn't fair that Jason was allowed to just let everything go like that. That Peter had to see so many people fall apart, Nadia, Ivy, himself, because Jason didn't really think of what would happen after. That he only thought of himself.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
But then, he would circle back to the way Jason would catch his eye in french class, the way it felt when he'd tug him into some supply closet or another just to kiss him like he needed the air out of Peter's lungs to survive, or how peaceful he looked when he'd fall asleep with his head tucked ontop of Peter's shoulder when Peter was watching some dumb movie he'd already seen a million times. And then he was just sad all over again.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
It wasn't fair that Jason got to just leave and let everyone else deal with the consequences, but really, Peter couldn't find it in himself to blame him anymore.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
After all, it was probably his fault, maybe if he hadn't pushed so hard to come out, had just been there for him when Matt outed them to the school, or he had stayed with Jason when he had heard that tone of desperation in his voice the night of the play. He couldn't change the past, But God, he would do it all over again if it meant he could be with Jason one last time.  
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  
He was never truly supposed to have him, and that just made it hurt all the more when it was taken away.


End file.
